Renewing Our Resolve
Updated: Jan 12
If you live in the UK, chances are you woke up to a new version of reality this morning, as a Tier 5 lockdown was announced across the country.
What went through my mind when I read about it was 'how devastating' (which I know, is not the most positive first thoughts), followed by Facebook conversations, and The Midnight Sky on Netflix.
This morning I woke up with the movie's last scene etched on my mind (spoiler alert, probably) of 'Adam and Eve' stunned by the realisation that they were isolated, cut off from their world, and utterly alone yet together from now on, and how as the thought sank in, they carried on with their tasks, calm, composed, and focused as they headed towards their new destination, seemingly transitioning towards a new purpose and their new goal.
Their actions echoed decisions about survival, focus, purpose and direction expressed by Terry Waite in his book Taken On Trust where he talked about the 4 year isolation he experienced in solitary confinement as a hostage in the Middle East a number of years back and what helped him survive, kept him focused, alert and maintained his spirit, as well as thoughts about living in isolation while in company following Kate Greene's article in the Guardian about living like an astronaut for months to simulate conditions on Mars.
You may or may not be aware of the fact that the effects of isolation have been documented in different scenarios across the world, the common denominator being people, and these scenarios indeed ranging from solitary confinement and hostage situations to Arctic and Antarctic expeditions to isolated hospitalised patients to isolated-in-their-homes people of any age prior to Covid19, but what is also known is that conscious choices of maintaining the absolute basics coupled with a higher focus, goal or direction while going through such a challenging phase reduces the effects of isolation drastically.
These basics are enough sleep, exercise, reduction of stress, healthy nutrition, social contact as much as it is possible/permissible, activities that can help one laugh, relax, feel connected to themselves and others, enjoy sensations in their body, as well as activities that permit the brain to keep functioning and staying intellectually challenged.
Perhaps some of the great challenges of the lockdowns are the anticipation they are ending, the double-standards that exist in certain pockets of society without explanation of who gets to stay open and for what reasons and the frustration that ensues, and the deadlines getting extended as the virus mutates while some of us get complacent in protecting ourselves and each other.
But it still applies that when it comes to things we cannot control, it is best to let them go, and focus instead on what we can control. We are going through a temporary situation that will eventually resolve. What a great opportunity to practice patience and self-care safeguarding our relationships from the pandemic's impact, and what a great opportunity to master these when it matters most.
If you would like to improve the way you connect with your partner and you are unsure how, I offer a 45mins Complementary Clarity Session to help you get clarity and form a plan of action. To arrange your session, you can email me directly on email@example.com or choose your time from my online calendar by visiting http://TheLantern.as.me/relationships
Constantina Stamou is a certified Life & Relationship Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and has a PhD in Stylochronometry. Before training as a coach, she worked for the charity RICA as a researcher, co-founded and co-directed TNT Dance (On2 Salsa school), and run her own Reformer Pilates Studio at Kensington Olympia, London. She is currently volunteering for the mental health charity Mind.