The Guilt Of Self-Care
Updated: Nov 13
A lot of people approach the idea of self-care as something that is selfish and indulgent, something to feel guilty about, that one might have to deserve it to choose it, and that this is not them.
If they happen to allow themselves a break at any point, it quickly becomes unbearable and intolerable and very quickly they go back to being busy and prioritising others.
Yet the idea that self-care is indulgent and selfish could not be further from the truth.
The thing is, without care, we cannot maintain anything in this world, not a building, not a garden, certainly not a
clean kitchen (you know it's true!), and very certainly not our health.
Neither our emotional health, nor our physical health, let alone our family or our committed relationship or our performance at work can be maintained without care and without our own self-care.
The simplest and easiest way to see this is to try to stay awake way past your bed time.
Do this enough days, and the world around you and inside you should start to collapse.
Self-care 0 Madness 1.
There is a reason when we are on the plane and there is severe turbulence we first put our own mask on and then we put the mask on our child's face.
If we do not do this, most likely none of us will survive.
Self-care is the same thing: we do it so we can survive (and more than that, so we can thrive), so everything and everyone else we love and care for can survive and thrive too!
So next time you might find yourself questioning whether you should choose to care for yourself, ask yourself instead, what will you be jeopardising if you don't?
If you or someone you know is in a relationship and find it hard to care for or look after themselves but they are clear it is having an impact on their committed relationship, I offer a FREE 45min Clarity Session to help create clarity, a plan of action, and offer my personalised support. The best way to connect is by sending me a direct message via email@example.com or signing up via http://TheLantern.as.me/relationships Constantina Stamou Constantina Stamou is a certified Life & Relationship Coach, has trained with the Robbins-Madanes coaching school and Strategic Intervention, is an NLP Master Practitioner, has attended Tony Robbins’ Business Mastery, and has a PhD in how we change the way we put sentences together as we grow older. Her work experience includes university tutoring, charity research, and entrepreneurship which has so far translated into the TNT Dance Salsa Club in London, her Reformer Pilates Studio at Kensington Olympia, London, and The Lantern.